Reflections

Last week and this week milestones are going to be reached regarding what I have been going through since April. I am hoping that this will bring some much needed tension relief. There are times that I feel that I am walking on pins and needles and this at least allows me to see the “light at the end of the tunnel.”

Friday was my first night out with “Tyke.” Tyke is someone who recently expressed interest in getting to know me better and suggested going out to dinner. We went to his place of choice and spent a lot of time talking about everything. Tyke revealed both the good and bad in his life. The “bad” part somewhat took me by complete surprise, given his age. But it is something that he has owned up to and has taken responsibility for, for which I was quite proud of. What seemed to be a short dinner turned out to be surprisingly long. We headed back toward his place to stop at the town’s park. We sat on the boardwalk and talked about “life” and what was beginning to develop between the two of us. It was turning out to be a cold evening for which I was bundled with only a windbreaker. He was extremely warm. We eventually had our moments of affection.

IT GOT MY MIND OFF HOW YOUNG HE WAS.

We said our “goodbyes” for the evening at about 10:30 PM.

Saturday was the annual dinner of the local GLBT association that I am a member of. It was great to see some faces that I haven’t seen in a long time and yet somewhat melancholic when I noticed who did not decide to attend. But we had over 100 members attend the Dinner which made it a great time. I suggested to the other Board members that we get photos of all the members before the tables get congested with all the food and people start loosening their ties. The President told me to “run with the idea” So I went around to all of the tables to get photos of the members. Sometimes the members can be a bit standoff-ish about getting their pictures taken, particularly if they’re still in the closet, but I was pleasantly surprised by the warm reception I received, particularly from couples. I thought this was another way to personally connect with the members when I send them their photos and also extend my thanks on behalf of the organization. And who knows, maybe the communique will open up other avenues?

I did a lot of dancing that evening and the banquet facility did a great job of controlling the temperature inside, not allowing it to get too warm. I didn’t want to be out on the roads too late, but at the same time I was having fun. I also didn’t want to leave the other board members “hanging” when it came to any clean-up or packing that needed to be done. I finally got home about 1:15 AM. Before attending the Dinner, I was planning on leaving about 11:00 PM to get me home by midnight. But it seemed like the night was still too young. I’m not one to stay up too late.

Sunday was another jam packed day, starting with church. I woke up on my own at 6:30 AM, but so wanted to go back to sleep. Luckily I did fall back to sleep until the alarm clock woke me up at 8:00 AM. Church was at 10:00 AM. In the middle of the service “Tyke” called me on my cell phone. Thank goodness I remembered to turn my cell phone to vibrate. After church we had our business meeting in the church hall where we approved the budget for 2010, approved revisions to the church’s constitution, and followed that up with a potluck. I called Tyke later and we decided to meet and go bowling for a few games. I did terrible my first game (don’t think I broke 70), but did OK the second and third game.

After bowling Tyke suggested that we go to my house. I was a bit hesitant about it only because of the condition I knew the living room would be in with the laundry I did on Saturday still thrown on the couch and the dining room table that has all my photography equipment and other miscellaneous items. But we came anyway. I showed him around the house and what I did to the basement by remodeling it. And he spotted the infamous Adirondack chair in the backyard.

I cleared off the couch where we did some playing around and a lot of talking. I was more at ease with him at home than I was with him outside on the boardwalk the night before. Plus it was a lot warmer inside the house. And again, without so much talking,

IT GOT MY MIND OFF HOW YOUNG HE WAS.

On the way back to his house to drop him off, we stopped to have dinner at Pizzeria Uno. I got him home around 8:45 PM. One thing I discovered driving back from his place was how dark the streets were, particularly along one state route with twists and turns. The speed limit in some areas was as high as 55 MPH, but I was more comfortable going 45 MPH. At one point this pick-up truck was riding my tail when I was going 60 MPH and I had to pull over on this narrow shoulder to allow him to pass. I finally was home around 9:15 PM. As soon as I got undressed, I hit the sack as I was extremely exhausted.

The photo below was another shot I captured on the nearby golf course in early October of this year. I thought that it would go well with the title of this post. This was a photo captured in High Dynamic Range (HDR).

Photo Friday: Three

I don’t have any photos that I can think of that I took which represents three, so I have settled with a photo of me with my two older brothers standing on the front steps where I was born and raised. I pass by the house on a regular basis which brings back many memories. I live less than a mile from there. I remember going through the house when I was in high school (we moved from here when I was in third grade) thanks to my girlfriend at the time who was a babysitter there and I couldn’t believe how small my bedroom was. It was really a “sitting room” for the master bedroom. I believe I may have been about 2 here…maybe 3.

What’s in a Number?

Yours truly met “Tyke” not too long ago. “Tyke” was someone who caught my eye at a Fourth of July party earlier this summer. He had a nice sense of humor, personality, and a smile to die for. The Fourth of July party was announced through an e-mail that was sent to the guests. When “Tyke” sent an e-mail back to the hosts thanking them for the party, he sent it as a “Reply to All.” When I had seen his name signed in the e-mail, I quickly learned what his e-mail address was. I then sent him an e-mail just saying how nice it was to meet him and that I had hoped to see him in the future. His response was a cordial but “empty” one. I didn’t want to think anything more “into it.” Well, I ran into him again at another function two weeks ago. It was great to see him, but he was there with his best (female) friend. I didn’t know what to make of it in the beginning. What came to mind was my relationship with Guy from a few years back who had a best (female) friend that he actually roomed with and at times she always felt like a “third person” in our relationship. By the end of the night, “Tyke” was almost off my “radar” as far as a potential partner.

Then to my surprise, “Tyke” sent me an e-mail last weekend stating that he would like to go out to dinner with me and “how did I feel about that?” I told him that it sounded like a great idea, that he can give me a telephone call and we can schedule a dinner out together. I gave him my phone number and I heard from him the following evening. I was blown away by some of the things he had said and due to my own issues of “self worth”, I would ask myself why he would be saying such things. We’re going out to dinner this Friday.

The one thing that came to mind when I last saw him was when I could deduce from conversations how old (or young) he was. I estimated that “Tyke” is at least ten years younger than me. I’ve always felt comfortable dating older men, but I can’t recall ever dating a younger man. Not that younger men are a “turn off”, but it was always by coincidence. And now there is “Tyke” who could have some real potential.

Is age something that I should let bother me? Is this something that is only someone else’s problem? I recall dating Jim last year who is ten years older than me. I didn’t have an issue with the age difference, but would others have an issue was my worry. I always “heard” Mom in the back of my mind asking me why I would settle for someone so much older when I could find someone my own age. So is someone who is aged 28-30 (or maybe even younger) too young for a 41 year-old? I think I’ll just have to gauge where Friday and beyond takes us and not worry about the age difference for now.

Photo Friday: Autumn 2009

Photos taken on a golf course close to home. These photos were processed with High Dynanic Range (HDR) imaging.

Click on the images once (in the Gallery at the bottom) to see them at mid-size and twice to see them full-size.

View looking back toward the first tee and clubhouse.

View looking from the eighth tee toward the green.

“I’m Just a Bill, Yes I’m Only a Bill”

“…and I’m sitting here on Capitol Hill.”

Yours truly has decided what he’s going to be for Halloween and it’s Bill from the School House Rock days. You remember School House Rock on Saturday mornings on ABC, don’t you? Those three-minute educational cartoon segments a few minutes before each hour and between your favorite cartoon shows, like Superfriends from the Hall of Justice?

I drove all over town on Sunday trying to find all my required materials and after purchasing everything, there was one big problem I foresaw myself running into….How am I going to eat and drink wearing Mickey Mouse hands and my face covered with foam? So I might have some rethinking to do.

 My costume will consist of a foam mattress cover that will wrap around my body. I bought a queen-sized (how apropo, huh?) cover, mickey mouse hands, a red ribbon for tying around the bill, and black stick-on letters B, I, and two L’s. For the red, white and blue button, I’ll be fastening a blue plastic plate and red plastic plate with white duct tape, on which the lettering will be stuck. There were thoughts of wearing white tights, but I quickly dropped that idea and went with white sweat pants instead, since I already own a pair. For the arms, I’ll probably wear a white long-sleeve turtleneck and my white tennis shoes.

My original intent was to go strictly with a drawn on mouth with no opening, but I’ll be wanting to snack on appetizers while at the parties, and of course be able to drink. The eyes were going to be through small holes that will have screening over them to hide my eyes, but still allow me to see out. So we’ll see how this works out. I may have to scrap the idea entirely. I also have to see how “yellow” I look wrapped in this foam. If I look too yellow, I’ll have to write “ENDA” or “DADT” on the backside of me and tell people that since I’ve been sitting in committee for so long, I’ve begun to “yellow.” Or as someone else said to me, “Tell them you’re a bill that was written on parchment paper.”

I am also debating which party to attend this weekend….whether the WSGA Halloween Party or an Oktoberfest fundraiser. But I may be stuck with the fundraiser. A friend suggested that I be the photographer for the evening. They were also thinking of having one of those boards that you stick your heads through that makes it look like you’re Hercules, or maybe for an Oktoberfest theme they’ll have Germans holding their steins up in a toast and I would take pictures of them at the board.

It was interesting to note that after checking out my “Dashboard” here on WordPress that someone who googled the phrase “trailer park costume ideas” yesterday was redirected to my blog. Hmmmmm.